Friday, January 15, 2010

Reality Check

So, I am guessing that you were all waiting for this moment, or at least a post with this title. Yes, I believe 'reality' is starting to set in. I am pretty sure it is going to continue to hit me over the next few weeks more and more.

Reality 1: I am going to miss pregnancy. It is kind of sad to think that it is almost over. :( I have really enjoyed this pregnancy, and most of all the third trimester. I feel like things really started to 'take off' around week 25-27. While the third trimester has come with some 'uncomfortable' moments, and physically limiting side effects, it has been great. I love having a belly, feeling the 'big guy' make his 'big moves', and knowing that my baby will be here soon.

Pregnancy has been such a fun time of anticipation, preparation, and excitement. It is also such a 'magical' time. Just to know that you have something growing inside of you, that represents a piece of you and your husband. There are so many wonderful moments like: finding out the sex, feeling the first movement, Keith feeling the first movement, picking a name, getting the nursery ready, and getting prepared to be parents. It has all been really great, and I truly would not trade a moment of it in for anything.

Reality 2: I am having a baby....and he will be here in approximately 5 weeks! This fact is slowly sneaking up on me as I am watching my other pregnant friends (that are/were due around me) are all having their babies.

It is beyond me to think of Eli as actually being nearly full size right now. 'Word has it' that he is between 5-6 lbs, and approx. 18-20 inches...holy hell, that is nearly a full size baby! It is really easy to be pregnant and be far removed from reality because your baby is an 'alien' or still has a lot of developing to do, early on. However, when you realize that Eli is nearly full term, and so close to being here, it is bizarre. What is really crazy is to think about how 'physically' close he already is to us. The only thing that separates us is less than an inch of my belly and uterus, whoa!

Reality 3: Fear is a very real thing. Of course it is! If I wasn't the slightest bit scared then I would be concerned for myself, and my clear lack of realism.

I am scared to be responsible for another living being. I am scared to be a 'mother' and be expected to know what to do, when it is so clearly obvious that I have no clue at this point. I am scared to go through labor and experience pain unlike I have experienced in my life.

Reality 4: Despite all of my shocks and fears, Keith and I will be OK, and be great parents. The saying goes, "that women have been having babies for hundreds of years". This little nugget of knowledge is beyond accurate, and more than relieving to think of. I like to think that there are plenty of women that were less prepared or less capable than me having babies, and they did just fine as moms. I also like to think of the many women that have been in labor and survived...I too can do this!

That is it for now. However, don't be shocked to see more 'reality checks' making an appearance on the blog, as 'D-day' slowly approaches.

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