Eli is sick...and it is breaking my heart. So, during this time I have had a few revelations. 1st: I have so much respect and pride and unbelievable astonishment towards my friends that have had children's with severe illnesses or diseases. I know several people who had infants with major heart problems that required surgery. Or, a friend with a daughter diagnosed with Cancer. I always knew these women were amazing, but now I am blown away with their strength. I have been a gooey mess with Eli's first illness, which I know, is not anything in comparison. 2nd: I am thankful that we at least made it to the 7 month mark before we had to deal with this. Erin, hats off to you and your 3 1/2 month old baby girl who went through this same thing. 3rd: I am going to really be thinking twice at all future 'sick visits' that I schedule at the doctor. I get it....I understand what 'sick' is....and some of my other quick impulse bookings haven't warranted the treatment.
So...what is this awful virus, or where did it come from? No answer to either, but if it were a real tangible living thing, you can guess that I would punch it in the face right now for hurting my poor Eli.
Sunday afternoon (Eli's 7 month birthday!) he began to have an uncharacteristic amount of BM's....that slowly turned worse and worse throughout the day. Not to 'go graphic', but they are as unpleasant as you would imagine a stomach bug to produce in a baby. So, we got savvy right around the time the fever showed up. After a few calls to the 24hr nurse line, luke warm bath, baby medicine, and a fussy baby...we were full on in 'sick mode'. Luckily for us, my mom was on schedule to watch Eli yesterday, and she did a great job taking care of him. He had a standard sick day like most kiddos. Lounging around, aching, sleeping, and watching an uncharacteristically high amount of TV (hey, what can I say...you have to spoil the kid, and 'um'...distract him from his pain). Yes, I am not proud of his TV consumption, but he hasn't been up for playing or doing anything else that would distract him from is alignment.
It sucks, to see your poor lil' baby acting unlike their happy selves. You can see the pain and the hurt all over his face. About 48 hours have past, and we are moving into day 3. His attitude and fever this morning were night and day. He is certainly acting a little better today, but has actually started showing more symptoms (does this mean he is getting better?). We are heading to the doctor in a few hours to hopefully get some resolution. Up to this point the docs and nurses have said to monitor things from home. However, like a tornado, things have changed course today, and we are trying to stay in front of it.
I will make this observation. I haven't felt more helpless, except the day that Eli was born, than during this time. I remember a moment last night when I was trying to give him a bath to lower his temperature, and I remembered just what a small and helpless little baby he was. Holding him in my arms watching him scream out of pure vulnerability to take away the pain and hurt. It took me back to the first moment I held him in my arms right after he was born. I don't remember ever feeling more responsibility, helplessness, fear, or love than that very moment.
I will be sure to keep everyone updated on things. I will also need to post about his first meeting with part of Keith's side of the family, this past weekend.. It was certainly an interesting introduction. He wasn't in the best mood. To which we are trying to determine if he was already starting to get sick or becoming aware of the 'stranger danger' concept that they learn around this time. Regardless, Eli has been around a lot of new people since about Thursday (from a bday party that he and I crashed) and the family gathering. So, no telling where this ugly bug came from. :(
Here is a picture of my sweet sleeping angel with his new best friend and confidant...his blankie. I knew that he was attached to this thing, but it is amazing what a clear lead this blanket took in the race for Eli's favorite thing, during his sick time. He has to have it to fall asleep or feel better. :)
Oh my gosh! I have to add one 'footnote'. I have been thinking about this, and was just so 'kindly reminded'. Can I tell you how hard it is to watch a sick baby while being a parent to a dog with 'gas' issues? For those of you that know Dottie, you know what I am talking about. Countless moments of "does Eli have a poopie diaper....or wait, that was just Dottie."
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